i am melanie xavier… a family therapist and soul finding specialist

Mental Health Support - finding connection for Individuals, Families, Men and Teenagers.

My mission is to help you find a safe space to step out of the competition of life and begin a relationship with your authentic self. To find some peace and contentment in your life and work through any past or current issues in a way that suits you, not the people around you.

 

I provide online therapy or face to face sessions in my clinic in Grange, Adelaide. I offer a truly unique practice based on a wealth of both personal work and professional studies.  I am ever evolving, growing and adapting in order to meet the needs of my own desires for personal growth and adventures. It is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

The mental health system is in an impoverished state….. 

In the last few decades, the medical model has been expanding beyond the boundaries of pure medical conditions, heavily influencing both Psychiatry and Psychology towards a biological orientation. These days, even healthy people are conditioned to search for magic solutions to prevent or eliminate sadness, unhappiness, and loss of sexual desire, grief, old age, anxiety, and loneliness. “Scientifically tested” medications and manuals such as DSM-V attempt to extend the medical-psychiatric model to include virtually all human behaviours into a classificatory bible.

In what has become an increasingly impersonal world, both medicine and society at large are beginning to realise and rediscover the importance of relationship stories in healing.

The experiences we encounter in childhood become etched into our nervous systems, shaping our perceptions of life, values, ethics, and behavior. These stories hold the key to understanding our past and present realities.

By recognising the significance of reframing our narratives and reshaping our stories, we have the power to transform and heal past wounds. This process not only enhances personal growth but also fosters a collective healing journey, dismantling harmful constructs like "mental illness" and "depression." Instead, we focus on fostering a future-oriented approach to improvement.

I firmly believe that stories are a profound source of wisdom and insight into psychological suffering, transcending mere factual knowledge. When we hold space for someone to share their story, we bear witness to their pain and serve as compassionate listeners, offering support and envisioning their journey towards wellness and recovery.

 

Many of our Mental Health issues originate from our Primal Wound

Wounding is caused when we are not seen as we truly are; it is a failure in empathic connection from our early caregivers, peers, institutions or society at large; where we are treated as objects, dismissed as not important, as opposed to human beings.  

 

Empathic failures create experiences such as shame, hopelessness, abandonment, isolation and anxiety, so we develop a survival identity to ensure we are ‘seen’ by our outer world.  This experience becomes conditioned, where we learn to conform to our outer world in order to get our needs met.  Our wounding can develop as addiction, obsessive or destructive behaviour, isolation, substance abuse, overthinking or excessive ruminating – any pattern of behaviour that serves to manage our Primal Wound.

 

Our Primal Wound continually calls to us to heal it and find a sense of contentment and peace in our lives.   If we remain unaware of our wounded layers, our survival identity will dominate, and we will find it difficult to be truly happy.  I have wrestled with my own survival contract… are you ready to wrestle with yours?

Freedom is the willingness to risk being vulnerable to life.

 
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Every individual has the ability to be their own guru…

There is a wealth of information out there, eager to tell us what “they” think is best for us; ready to control every aspect of our lives.  However, I believe no one can do you, like you!!

I became my own guru by doing a wealth of personal work,

which is surrounded by others in my field whom i respect both for what they teach me, including what they don’t.  Reading, meditation, journaling, online courses, Buddhism, travelling solo, keeping it simple, self-care, other human’s (the good and the bad), the ocean, loads of soul finding music…. and most importantly, my children.  The list goes on….. i will do anything and everything to ensure my contentment does not waiver and if it does, i know i am the one who needs to give me the attention i am worthy of.    

 

And the professional stuff…..

Clinical Family & Systemic Therapist

AAFT Executive Committee Member

Supervision

Degree in Psychology

Degree in Aboriginal Studies and Indigenous Cultures

Reiki

Psychosynthesis (Roberto Assagioli)

The Gottman Relationship Principles

Diploma in Youth Justice

Aboriginal Mental Health Certificate

I have worked in areas for Youth, Alcohol and Drug addiction, Residential care, Homelessness and The Red Cross.